With Bike Week kicking off across the UK this weekend, here’s a quick guide to matching your social stereotype with the right bike.
Eco-smugness is now added to health and money saving as great reasons to get back in the saddle. With Bike Week events taking place across the UK, it’s time to celebrate this most noble of machines.
For tech-heads: The road bike is a highly strung beast, much like the sweating, lycra-wrapped speed freak in the saddle.
For the kids: With a riding position akin to scraping along the road on your backside, nobody else wants one.
For the hipsters: Technicolour, kamikaze rides favoured by bike couriers and trendy types. Brakes optional, Kryptonite lock and silly wheels essential.
For the weekend mud-fiend: Mountain bikes range from dad-bikes to wildly complicated (and expensive) ones ridden by people wearing body armour and goggles… to go to the Post Office.
For the serious commuter: Built for the city, these bikes drop you off at work, make you a coffee and wait outside deterring bike thieves with their sensible looks.
For people on trains: Wobble down to the nearest station looking a bit odd, pop it in your briefcase on the train, then wobble off to work when you arrive.
For people who think they live in LA: These weighty, low-slung cruisers do look a bit strange on roads, but whitewall tyres and huge saddles make for a relaxed ride.
For bearded intellectuals and floppy-haired students: Preferably with a few rusty bits for authenticity, plus wicker basket for tulips and obscure Russian literature.
For lazy people, let’s be honest: I suppose elderly people might need a bit of extra oomph up the hills, but really?
For lazy people who like arguing: Notoriously difficult to navigate but a good laugh if you have the space/patience.