Xmas trivia and other escapism much needed after this challenging year


The West End of London the last few years have featured illuminated angels all of which look suspiciously like the same angels of the year before – just after some bloke with a pair of pliers and ladder got up there and adjusted the angle of the wings, moved a leg, halo or arm or two.

Actually I did wonder whether this shouldn’t have been an electoral issue – but I couldn’t decide whether it should be championed as an austerity measure or condoled as visual deprivation for the sensually indulged (yeah, that would be me).

Either way I suspect the retailers only care for the passing tourist trade – and what would they notice – unless they’re sharing instagrams of the same spot from the Xmas before?

Other weird observation – a number of these Angels seem to boast a slight bulge at the groin and well-developed chests bordering on breasts. How modern I thought, staring up at a rather penile bulge made of fine illuminated wire mesh. Was this a tactical nod to the current correctness on gender fluidity I wondered? Do Angels have gender? Do Xmas decorations posing as Angels have gender? And where would that stand on the Equal Rights Bill – or maybe just the Census?

I mean even us lapsed Protestant-Atheist-Jews know about Gabriel and his message from the Almighty delivered via wings (nowadays it would come by text but then there’s a danger auto-correct would muddle the message – Prodigy by Dog – leading to a very different religious trajectory – Opps).

Now Gabriel was definitely male however officially angels do not have gender, or have sex or excrete (imagine that mid-flight– pigeons are bad enough.) So obviously a great deal of debate has gone on in Whitehall about the last tweaking of the wire. Such is the political sensitivity of our times.

Merry Christmas to all.

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