The West End of London the last few years have featured illuminated angels all of which look suspiciously like the same angels of the year before – just after some bloke with a pair of pliers and ladder got up there and adjusted the angle of the wings, moved a leg, halo or arm or two.

Actually I did wonder whether this shouldn’t have been an electoral issue – but I couldn’t decide whether it should be championed as an austerity measure or condoled as visual deprivation for the sensually indulged (yeah, that would be me).

Either way I suspect the retailers only care for the passing tourist trade – and what would they notice – unless they’re sharing instagrams of the same spot from the Xmas before?

Other weird observation – a number of these Angels seem to boast a slight bulge at the groin and well-developed chests bordering on breasts. How modern I thought, staring up at a rather penile bulge made of fine illuminated wire mesh. Was this a tactical nod to the current correctness on gender fluidity I wondered? Do Angels have gender? Do Xmas decorations posing as Angels have gender? And where would that stand on the Equal Rights Bill – or maybe just the Census?

I mean even us lapsed Protestant-Atheist-Jews know about Gabriel and his message from the Almighty delivered via wings (nowadays it would come by text but then there’s a danger auto-correct would muddle the message – Prodigy by Dog – leading to a very different religious trajectory – Opps).

Now Gabriel was definitely male however officially angels do not have gender, or have sex or excrete (imagine that mid-flight– pigeons are bad enough.) So obviously a great deal of debate has gone on in Whitehall about the last tweaking of the wire. Such is the political sensitivity of our times.

Merry Christmas to all.